I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
the raccoons are back...
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