Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
