so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
