Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
