Moan for me like Helen Keller
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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