what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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