I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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