we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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