I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
