that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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