im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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