My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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