it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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