Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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