Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
