yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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