It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
