Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
