sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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