we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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