Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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