he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
