i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
