thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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