We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
