You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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