I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
