i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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