he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
