turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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