I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
