addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
