Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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