And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
