I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
