like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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