Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
