? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
