i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
