I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
