Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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