he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
