evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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