Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
