Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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