What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
