I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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