woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
