He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
