First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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