i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
