awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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